In Kindergarten, I learned two things. One, five-year-olds are terrible at sharing. And two, you can’t hit people with a Tinkerbell lunchbox.

Morgan McNaulty and I were beefing over the one good blue crayon. She was using it aggressively on an already extremely blue sky. Mine was still blank, and I had plans…. with birds. I asked nicely. She smirked. I reached. She clutched. I cracked.

Next thing I knew, I was in time-out with a teacher's note and a drawing that didn't even make the fridge.

Mrs. Mayo called it “concerning.” My mom called it “embarrassing.” I call it my origin story. Anyway, if you need someone who uses their words, I'm around.